We’re at it again.

August 7, 2007

Fa and I are butting heads again.

Or she’s just a butt head again.

Something like that.

We spent Saturday with my Aunt and she couldn’t believe how much we argued. It seems I’m oblivious to it most of the time. But she is always contradicting me. On. Every. Farking. Thing.

My Aunt probably couldn’t wait to leave here.

It’s fine when it’s just us and I’m spewing anger outta my head…but when someone else is in the vicinity, I realize how bad it’s getting.

I am, for lack of a better description, Impatient.


I need a vacation. Or a minute to myself.

Or! Big OR here… I need to stop doing every thing for her. And I need to start having her fend for herself because I’m wearing myself thin. I can’t do it all for her anymore.

I think I’m spoiling her. Only Child Syndrome to the top of the mountain and back.

And it’s all my fault. And now I’m starting to take it out on her.

I expect waaaay too much from her little 3+ frame and I get disappointed easily when she can’t perform. But she shouldn’t be perfect. She’s still learning and I should know better than to expect perfection. From anyone.

I need to start teaching her how to do things for herself. She’s willing. Ready. And more than able. But I have held her back thus far because she’s just a baby girl.

She’s my only baby girl. And I don’t want her to grow up too fast.

But I’m tired.

Tired of getting her burpies and water for her when they are right on the coffee table.

Tired of dressing her because its faster. Tired of cleaning up everything for her. Tired of running at the first utterance of the word “help!”

I need to start teaching her that she is a big girl and can do things on her own.

Do you know that she still will NOT get out of bed unless she calls me to come and get her? She asks if she can do most things around the house. She asks permission to put the TV on and play with her toys. She is a wonderfully well behaved girl and does most of what I ask and expect.

But she’s starting to rebel for more independence. I see it. And I need to let her go. We fight because I expect her to remain that perfect little girl baby but she has her own mind and is willing to branch out.

School is going to be a welcome change for us. I was so nervous about it for so long. But I see it will be good for her and exceptional for me.

September can’t come fast enough.

And because I’m now thinking of it..a little Blazing Saddles for your viewing pleasure:

“I’m tired…of being admired.”

Oh! And wish me luck.
I get my boobas checked for the second time today!



  1. First, good luck on the boobies. I’m thinking about you.

    Second, parenting is a game that we are ALL learning. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s hard not to be impatient when a kid questions everything you do. Good luck with helping her with her independence (and yours.)

  2. I learned a couple years ago that I needed to start having the kids do things for themselves. I used to hover over them while they got ready, brush their hair for them, find their shoes, get their breakfasts, make their lunches. When I got pregnant, I realized there was no way I could have a real baby in the house and still treat the other two like babies. So, we slowly started getting them doing their own things. It’s a really slow process. Two years later, (at 6 and 10) they are just now starting to pick up after themselves. They’ve always had to clean their own rooms, but I used to do all the housework. I have a hard time letting go of the responibility – because I like things done RIGHT – but once you do, things get SO much easier.

    Good luck with the boobas, hon!

  3. Good luck with the ta-ta’s. That second mammo is no fun, and I’m sorry you have to have it. Ouchies.

    Thanks for the parenting wisdom today (although you may not see it like that). This is one of those posts I’m tucking away – hoping that I remember when my child and I butt heads. I love the way you were able to discern thy why. It makes perfect sense – the independence.

  4. Good luck with the boob checking!

    We have similar struggles in this house – but borne from a fiercely independent daughter and a mother who needs to do things for her, not to keep her little, but so that I can do it right!

    I have those letting go issues – but I’m starting to, and you know what – it’s a whole lot less frustrating for everyone πŸ™‚

  5. I wish I could go with you for your appointment….and I wish I could invite Fa over for a playdate while you go do something for yourself. I guess I’ll just have to send you a hug instead! I’ll be thinking of you!

  6. You write about this so clearly. As a teacher I went through the same thing each year, and now am seeing it with my 2 year old. You have a choice to keep them dependent on you or to teach them to be self-sufficient. The hard part is that teaching them feels like they won’t need you anymore, but they will still need you — they will need you to give them that praise and encouragement that fills them with pride at their accomplishments and confidence to keep at it when it is challenging.

    Good luck with your check today.

  7. She sounds like my second daughter. Especially the calling from bed to be carried out. She’s a little better at 7. So there’s hope for you. For us it has been a little because of us spoiling her and a little bit her personality so don’t completely blame yourself.

  8. Good luck with your tatas.

    And…what a well behaved child. Oh my goodness. She asks permission to do…everything?

    My child barks orders & demands everything. My child asks permission for nothing. He only asks for things he is too short to reach.

  9. good luck, love.

  10. It is difficult to let go. I did EVERYTHING for Kiddo. I’m still guilty of doing to much for him and he’s 11. But when I started making him do more for himself, we only had moments were he was upset for about a week or so. Then he was fine with it. And it did help him branch out and take more responsibility.

    He’s turning into quite the well mannered, young man. uggghhhhh lol

    good luck, it will come though.

  11. You have the right idea. Let her start doing some things for herself. She’s getting “big,” so she can handle – some things.

    Hope everything goes well with the “check.”

  12. Good luck on the boobs …

    Yeah, you’ve gotta start letting her do things on her own. If you don’t go get her out of her bed, she’ll eventually get tired of lying there and get up on her own. πŸ™‚

  13. I’m wishing you the VERY best of luck with you boobs today!

    Ah parenthood, sometimes it is so much of an exercise in frustration!
    Sounds like you know whats needed to “fix” the situation though so hang in there!

    Oh yeah, I’m sending you good health vibes!!

  14. I think we have all been there! It sounds like you already know how to make things a little better! Of course….isn’t it easy to say things?!

    PLUS 3 is the new terrible two’s on STEROIDS! UGH!

  15. best of luck getting felt up by the doc. πŸ™‚ keep us/me posted!

  16. So hope all went uber well today.

    I swear our daughters are aligned with the stars or something. Becca and I have been butting heads too.

    I have been forced to allow a lot more independence because of Ethan’s arrival. I sit and knit as she dresses or play with Ethan, same for all routines. If I am not prepared and I am in a rush … we fight, I lose my temper she does what I had asked her nicely four times to do.

    Good luck!

  17. Much luck on your boobies. Hope everything went well with all the smushing and all that.

    Second, I understand the frustration. I do. Hang in there, ‘kay?

    Third, I love you for posting that video. My favorite clip EVAH.

  18. Good luck and I hope your boobie appointment went well.

    Don’t be so hard on yourself. A perfect parent is NON existant. I know it is hard to let go but remember…you can take baby steps just like she has…it’ll all come in time. School will be good for both of you.

    Sending prayers up for your continued health.

  19. Thinking of you, girl. Looking forward to GOOD NEWS about the boobies.

    I think parenthood is a test of patience. I have an 8 mo old and I’m there….LORD HELP ME when he’s 3!!! I’m gonna need your number to put on speed dial for advice. say yes. xo. =o)

  20. yes… good things only for the boobas

    I learned to late that we need to choose our battles. Once chosen, be consistent. Some of those things you mention may not be very important. But if you are concerned about it — then write your list of those things you will not tolerate — and then figure out how to change the game.

    I wonder if I would do it any better if I could do it over again

  21. Thinking of your boobies today.

    This mom gig…sigh.

    You’re doing great!

  22. Been there.. done that…
    and I’m starting all over again with it!!

    Oh the joys!

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