We’re at it again.August 7, 2007
Fa and I are butting heads again.
Or she’s just a butt head again.
Something like that.
We spent Saturday with my Aunt and she couldn’t believe how much we argued. It seems I’m oblivious to it most of the time. But she is always contradicting me. On. Every. Farking. Thing.
My Aunt probably couldn’t wait to leave here.
It’s fine when it’s just us and I’m spewing anger outta my head…but when someone else is in the vicinity, I realize how bad it’s getting.
I am, for lack of a better description, Impatient.
I need a vacation. Or a minute to myself.
Or! Big OR here… I need to stop doing every thing for her. And I need to start having her fend for herself because I’m wearing myself thin. I can’t do it all for her anymore.
I think I’m spoiling her. Only Child Syndrome to the top of the mountain and back.
And it’s all my fault. And now I’m starting to take it out on her.
I expect waaaay too much from her little 3+ frame and I get disappointed easily when she can’t perform. But she shouldn’t be perfect. She’s still learning and I should know better than to expect perfection. From anyone.
I need to start teaching her how to do things for herself. She’s willing. Ready. And more than able. But I have held her back thus far because she’s just a baby girl.
She’s my only baby girl. And I don’t want her to grow up too fast.
But I’m tired.
Tired of getting her burpies and water for her when they are right on the coffee table.
Tired of dressing her because its faster. Tired of cleaning up everything for her. Tired of running at the first utterance of the word “help!”
I need to start teaching her that she is a big girl and can do things on her own.
Do you know that she still will NOT get out of bed unless she calls me to come and get her? She asks if she can do most things around the house. She asks permission to put the TV on and play with her toys. She is a wonderfully well behaved girl and does most of what I ask and expect.
But she’s starting to rebel for more independence. I see it. And I need to let her go. We fight because I expect her to remain that perfect little girl baby but she has her own mind and is willing to branch out.
School is going to be a welcome change for us. I was so nervous about it for so long. But I see it will be good for her and exceptional for me.
September can’t come fast enough.
And because I’m now thinking of it..a little Blazing Saddles for your viewing pleasure:
“I’m tired…of being admired.”
Oh! And wish me luck.
I get my boobas checked for the second time today!