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Is it easier to have a penis?

August 16, 2007

Yeah. So.

Uhm.

I cried. Like a big, fat baby with a full diaper and an empty belly.

I think the tequila shots made me weak. I wasn’t on top of my game.

I wasn’t able to joke and giggle like the last time.

They wouldn’t let The Pro come in the room with me and that broke me like a wild foal.

I weeped. Uncontrollably.

The Tech and the Doctor (both males~how friggin’ uncomfortable) came in to comfort me.

The young, blond, beautiful nurse. Was useless.

I was a mess.

The Tech numbed me for fear that I may faint on the table and I honestly didn’t feel a thing after that. I don’t know what happened to me. I was so scared of the catheter.

I feel so bad for those people. Having to do that all day long. Catheters in and out all day long.

So my “beautiful, large” polyp is 1 and 3/4 cm and it is “wonderful” according to the doctor. He says the good news is, at my age and place in the life cycle, it is always benign. (I’ll relax when they test it for sure)

He says that this polyp is what is causing my wild and freaky visits from Aunt Flo. I hate the bitch. And she should calm down after it has been evicted from my uterus.

Damn uterus.

I hugged and smooched the Tech in the hallway and thanked him for being so nice to me. He turned out to be a sweet little man who just wanted me to be okay. If I could have put him in my polyp pocket, I would have.

Then in the mail when I got home, was my letter from the radiologist and he does want me back in six months for a reprise.

Which in turn means that my OB/GYN will want me to see a surgeon. Ugh.

But, in all honesty and seriousness, I would rather them remove something that is nothing, than leave it in there and wonder for six months.

To recap:

Catheters suck.
Polyps make Aunt Flo go berserk.
Two surgeries for girl bits gone bad.
Me and my radiologist look to be soul mates for the rest of my life.
Thank you all for your wonderful well wishes! God, this blog~world rocks.

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26 comments

  1. sorry it was so emotional and scary, but sounds like you got through it
    thanks for putting my post on your shared items !!!! i love that…..


  2. I hate to hear how scary it was for you. Glad it went as well as it could have and that the polyp is the reason for that bitchy Aunt Flo.

    Hope you’ll spend today relaxing…catheter free.


  3. oh HUN.

    Sorry it was such a freak ride for you. I’m sure it’ll go much better from here.

    Big fat hugs, chiklet. XOXO


  4. I think I would have cried, too.


  5. I don’t know if I posted a comment already – my daughter distracted me so delete this if I’ve said it already lol!

    I think I would have cried, too. Stay strong 🙂


  6. much better news than if they told you it was cancer. Get that surgery right away, and get the girlie bits all better.

    Life is good when our girlie parts are happy. lol


  7. Ooh, sweetie, big hugs from me. I didn’t want to say anything before you had it done, because when I had my HSG it hurt like a bitch for about two days afterward. I didn’t want to scare you, y’know?

    Best wishes to you and your girl parts, may they never trouble you again.


  8. i’m so sorry, JJ…that really sucks!


  9. HUGS!! Know that I was holding your hand in spirit! So sorry you have to go through all this. Thank you for staying on top of it all and staying healthy!


  10. You’re right. Better to get rid of it, even if it is benign.

    On another note…would you take a picture next time of the “young, blond, beautiful nurse”?


  11. Sorry you have to deal with all this at the same time…hopefully you will get it all taken care of and then you will be done with them for a long time….lets hope so anyway. Fingers crossed for ya here.


  12. I’m sorry you have to go through this. Catheters do suck. I had one for 2 weeks after my bladder was cut during my hysterectomy. The catheter made me more miserable than my incisional pain.


  13. Oh honey!!!

    Though I have to admit, with all the talk of Polly Pocket recalls all I can think of now is the new toy to replace her.

    Her long lost cousin…

    Polyp Pocket


  14. I am so sorry for all the discomfort and wondering. But you’re getting things taken care of, and hopefully all of this business will be fixed up soon!


  15. I’m glad for the good news. Keep hanging in there too!

    Penises get off wayyy too easy…in more ways than one.


  16. I’m glad the news is happy…

    But your experience was so sad. My sister had to do a similar thing (in her case, it WAS cancer, but she’s better now) and she talked about just bawling on the operating table. Breaks my heart.

    I love Heather’s comment about penises getting off too easy. Indeed!!!!


  17. Oh my. Dinner last night sounded much more fun than the doctor’s today.

    I’m sorry the Pro couldn’t go in with you. But I’m glad this part is over and done. You did good!


  18. I don’t think anyone really likes aunt flo. Seriously. She IS a bitch.


  19. Oh, hon, none of that sounds like any fun. But I’m with you, even if it’s nothing take the sucker out!


  20. And also, catheters do suck. I refused to let them give me one on my trip to the ER 2 1/2 weeks ago. REFUSED. I made them let me pee on my own.

    And why would they not let Pro go in with you? WTH?


  21. shit. wish I could read this in more detail.

    damn medical phobia.

    It sounds very positive though, what I could read before I had to scroll down and comment….


  22. I never had a polp removed, but did have endrometrial biopsy (long long awful story) years ago.
    … and it hurt very much.

    I thought of that song
    If I had a hammer…
    I’d hammer the Dr’s face (:


  23. Sorry you had to deal with this, but I agree that it was better to remove it.


  24. I’d cry too. That kind of stuff scares me.


  25. UGH!! Not pleasant!! =( I’m so glad it’s behind you.


  26. Yikes! Sorry about all this.



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