Why did the almost four year old throw the clock out the window?August 27, 2007
She wanted to see … How the time flies.
Since Fa has been potty trained, she seems like a different kid. She’s more confident and outgoing. She’s braver than I have ever seen. She has finally learned to enjoy life. I have been wanting her to do that for quite some time.
My baby has slipped through my fingers and I think I missed it.
Or at least I miss that baby that she once was.
We have told her that when she was a little baby, she used to cry and cry all the time. She giggles at that. She says, “Babies cry, Mommy.” (Where was that advice when I needed it?)
We tell her how much we love her and we tell her that no matter how old she gets, she will always be our baby.
I tell her “Stop growing!!” and she responds with “Why don’t you want me to grow? I have to grow!” Then she tells me, “I’ll always be your baby Mommy.”
When she was learning to talk, she used to repeat “Ahata, Ahata, Ahata” all the time. It took us a few weeks to finally figure out that she was saying “I have to” really fast like I do…”I hafta”…
Now, it doesn’t take long to figure out what she means… she repeats everything loud and clear with resonance and confidence…especially the curse words. She’s a talker my kid. A true jabber-jaw!
Her teacher came over today to meet with her before school. She chewed her ear off…Told her all sorts of stories and played with puzzles and books and home made playdough. The teacher was so happy to see her so excited for school to start…MY kid, excited fro school to start…?
It’s only preschool. But it is very important for her.
It will be her first introduction to school and life away from home. It will be her first experience in dealing with other personalities and staying true to herself. It will be her first time depending on another person for support and protection instead of me. I am excited for her and sad for me all at once.
I am watching her independence blossom and I am feeling her pull slightly away from me. When I reach for hugs and kisses now, she doesn’t give them each time. But she does surprise me with kisses on my hand or my arm when I least expect it.
She fights for what she believes in with true grit and I pray that she does that in the ‘real world’ too. How do I find the courage to allow her to win some battles and lose some battles? And still stay strong.
All I want for her is to be happy and strong.
I want her to thrive. I want her to grow. I am so excited for her, yet apprehensive for me.
I want her to stay strong. In return, I need to be strong for her. She is my baby, yet she is growing exponentially. And her world is too.
How will I protect her yet help her be her own person?
(Posted on my new iMacPro….I’m in heaven…I’ll take a picture soon)