O.A.*September 11, 2007
Hi. My name is ~JJ! and I am an overthinker. (All of you in unison…Hi ~JJ!)
Me: I am having a difficult time ‘over’ thinking of all the worse case scenarios that can happen during summertime activities.
You: Like what darling? Please try to be specific.
Me: Well, we took Fa to her cousin’s pool yesterday and of course we didn’t bring her bathing suit or mine for that matter because it’s a fairly new pool and we didn’t think it’d be open. But all she wanted to do was go in and I wasn’t about to. I really hate the pool. I have a swimsuit issue too..but that’s for the “Mommy-Belly Anonymous” meeting next week.
You: Poor baby. What did she do?
Me: Well, she wanted to get by the edge of the pool to put her hands and feet in and all I could imagine was her falling in and drowning. I don’t know CPR…but that’s for the ‘Scared of Everything” meeting tomorrow.
You: Was she in any danger whatsoever?
Me: You see, that’s the problemo. I can’t help but envision her falling in even when there are plenty of people around…(but not really watching.) I feel like I’m the only one watching/hawking her. (and my husband, of course) Then I get the ‘you’re an overprotective mom vibe’ happenin’ and I start to feel self-conscious and paranoid.
It’s the paranoia and lack of self-esteem as a mom that makes me feel this way. I know I’m being overprotective but that’s my daughter dangling in the pool. I like to think I don’t care if people think that way about me but I do. I felt like shit already because she wanted to go swim and we wouldn’t let her. Now, I’m following her around like a puppy because she won’t hold my hand and wants to look at the kids playing in the unfinished and un-gated pool.
You: You might want to get over that, you are going to make her neurotic.
Me: Thanks. I know that already. That’s why I’m here.
You: Well, you have at least 26 more years of ‘OA’ before you get cured…Drink some coffee and relax…
*Posted last year some time at my “other place” but I wanted to re-post it here because I read this and felt it all over again. I wanted Jen to know that we all think this way about all sorts of crap…it’s not just her.
I haven’t forgotten.