Maybe my whoo-ha is more temperamental

November 7, 2007

Alternate Title: Figuring the “HOLE” Thing Out
Alternate Alternate Title: Leave It To My Beaver

Boys, don’t read ahead…I’ll come back soon with something for everyone’s eyes to enjoy.
Thank you.

Well, ever since she wrote her post about her special secret. I have been hooked on finding out more.

Honestly, I was grossed out at first. I mean really. A cup. Where? You put it where?

It looked funny, it seemed weird and I was truly confused.

Then, I went to the site and did some more research.

I found out they have so many products to choose from and I was intrigued. They have all natural and environmentally friendly products that help you with the worst time of the month! And make it not so bad? C’mon. Really? I can DO that.

Honestly, I have been wondering what to do lately about the disposal of my ‘usual suspects’ and the fact that it is quite an unsatisfactory way to deal with the unwanted visit from the “Aunt”.

I was totally looking for a change.

Customer service over there is wonderful. I must say. One of the best I have ever dealt with. I feel almost guilty that I am having so much trouble with the thing.

However, I can’t seem to get the ‘hang’ of it. Using the actual cup, I mean.

If you’ve gotten this far and if you are queasy, or a perv, I’m tellin’ ya, stop reading here…

Goes in pretty easy. I think. I can’t feel it. Makes me a little nauseous, but I think those are my nerves. And you’re supposed to spin it once it’s inserted to insure the cup is open and ‘ready’ and I can’t do that. It hurts. And I can’t get a grip on it. The ‘stem’ seems too short.

Initially, it seemed to ‘get lost’ in there and I had to go fishing it out right away because I was worried I wouldn’t be able to retrieve it again. Ever. I gotta be honest. I don’t know how you guys out there do it. It’s all dark and slippery up there. And well, wet. I don’t do wet.

When it does ride all the way up, the actual ‘act’ of pushing it out brings back too many birth memories. I can’t do that every month. It makes me so not look forward to going to the bathroom…And I already have potty issues, if you haven’t been reading for too long.

And I can’t stop thinking about it. Every second. It sure does go pretty far up. Or do I have the ‘Lincoln Tunnel’ of all whoo-ha’s?

I dunno gals. I can’t seem to wear it confidently or comfortably.

I’m now on my fourth visit from the Aunt with it and I’m to the point where I dread it. More than before.

I really wanted to enjoy this product and use it until I grew old and grey. However, I just can’t seem to do it.

Is it because I have this polyp and the amount of *ahem* Flo is almost crime-scene like?
Is it because my nerves and anxieties have gotten the better of me and I just can’t ‘relax’? (Big story of my life.)
Or, Big Or…Do I truly have a temperamental whoo-ha who is just set in her ways and refuses to change now?

Girls? Help a sistah out, you’re my only hope?



  1. I wish I could help. Once you figure it all out you must share! I am not having a flo visit as I am nursing, but will be looking to tame the beast later.

    You are so awesome to talk openly and by doing so you are going to help the ladies out.

  2. Hey, so you know I’m a lurker, and perhaps this is not the most obvious post to provoke a delurking but I wanted to bond in your lack of ability to bond with the little cup thing.

    My anatomy also means that I cannot use this otherwise groovesome product. Or a diaphragm for that matter. It’s something about how my cervix points backwards. Ijust can’t find the sucker most of the time, which means I can never know if the little cup thing is actually in and ON or if it’s just hanging around in there, making a trampoline.

    So, whether for the same reason or a different one, here’s a sister whose body also says, no way no how to small curved bits of rubber.

    Yo. Solidarity.

  3. I could NEVER use one of those, although I love the idea of being more green and eco-conscious. This is why (and it’s TMI, in case your readers read comments, too): before the hubby got snipped, I used a diaphragm for contraception. I started once while I had the diaphragm in, and it only seemed to intensify my already horrid cramps. My ‘flo’ is like a crime scene as well, and not at all smooth. And I think that it just wouldn’t all come out with something THAT close/right on my cervix. Because the owwies were a LOT more bearable once that thing came out. This was all in a matter of hours, too, so it’s not like I even had it in a long time. I wouldn’t mind doing the cloth feminine needs thing, but never started. I’m 37, and may even go through the change within a dozen years, so I don’t even know if it’s worth the bother.

  4. Wish I had some help, but I have never tried one.

  5. Because of the way my cervix is I can’t even wear tampons. They make me sick to my stomach. My mother said it was all in my head, my doctor validated it for me and her. hehehehe

    I could never do one of these, I would probably pass out. lol

    good luck though, but I would go back to what works.

  6. The things I learn! I had never even heard of this, but since the generally accepted description “crime-scene-like” exactly describes my monthly visits, I’m thinking it’s probably not for me.

  7. okay…i’ve had my Diva Cup for 4 months now, and i am so happy i went for it. i’d been eyeing it for a while. i use cloth diapers for my boys, and the dipe stores pretty much all carry the DC.

    i admit, it took a little bit of practice to get it in perfectly. hmmm…not sure how to explain this. first of all, you have to make sure that you have it firmly folded in half with your thumb and your other finger(s), and don’t let it unfold until it’s all the way in. if you do, it won’t pop open all the way…i had trouble with that the first few times.

    i also had a tough time trying to give it the one full twist once it’s in. like you, i found i couldn’t get a hold of the stem. what i have found works the best is to bear down a bit, which makes the cup come down far enough that you can grab it (kinda like what you are supposed to do to remove it), and grab it by the very bottom rather than the stem. then twist it, and it pops open.

    if you have any questions, you can always email me: monkeysandmarbles@gmail.com

    i’m more than happy to try and help!

    good luck!

  8. Wow. Just, uh. Wow.

    I had never heard about this before.

    Makes the phrase, “My cup runeth over,” just seem wrong to think right now, and of course, I can’t stop thinking it. With visuals.


  9. No advice, hope you can get the swing of things.

  10. I can’t even use tampons without freaking soooooo I am NOOO help to you.

    But with you on the Giant Hoo Ha..thing

  11. Hmm. I have no advice, but thanks for the, um, education?

  12. Hmmmm. Very interesting. Very interesting because I have obtain intimate knowledge of some mommy bloggers since coming out of the closet.

    I have to say I *think* my oven baker (uterus) sits lower than before kids. So I don’t have an issue of it going too high. The only thing I can suggest for that particular issue is to call the CS dept and see what they say about it creeping up too high.

    As far as twisting, I don’t use the stem. I grab the bottom of it and turn it. Given the low oven baker, it isn’t that far of a reach for me to grab it.

    You can always email me if you want to get even more personal and specific with me.

  13. Don’t mind me…just act like I’m not here.

    Ignore the puking sounds.

  14. makes me SOOOOOOOOOOOO glad those wonderflow years are behind me now. this would NEVER have worked for me. i’m gagging just thinking about it!

  15. I agree with the tips from Cate but wanted to add a couple of things. Can’t say I have been so descriptive about this topic with a stranger but here goes…

    My cervix tilts back instead of forward, sits low during the first couple of days of my period, and has gone through childbirth.

    However, I like the menstrual cup though it took four months to get it right:

    First, it does not go in as far or as high as a tampon, it is meant to seal against the walls of the vagina not suction onto the cervix. I found that when it was not low enough, it felt like a never ending PAP smear. I have cut off the pokey, uncomfortable impossible-to-grasp-when-wet “stem” and hold it by the base.

    Secondly, be very fussy about folding it, as Cate said, and be very fussy about the angle it goes in or it will not pop and spin as it should. The angle thing was the trickiest part for me. Try standing, squatting, one leg up on something, whatever works until you can fold it, point it straight back (think tail bone, not belly button). For example, if I squatted too deeply it would float off into Neverland, stand too straight it would not go deep enough to be gripped by the pelvic floor.

    Fold, point, pop, spin.

    I have to wear a liner or pad in case of overflow (when I hear that the average flow is 2 to 4 oz., I want to laugh). But I am a cup convert.

    Good luck. I hope it works out for you. I hope my tips are not useless; I am disappointed the cup is not as universal as my idealism was imagining.

  16. I have nothing JJ. Abso-smurfely nothing.

  17. good luck, or give up. I can’t bring myself to try it. Hey, I used the nuvaring, and that’s about as far as I wish to venture out….

    but, i know someone else who uses the cup, and she loves it…

  18. I haven’t tried it but somebody who swears by it recommended this to me. I must admit to being intrigued although I couldn’t uh .. change it at work I don’t think. Still – it’s an option – and it’s soft and comfy!!


  19. Damn how I love the bloggin’ wimmins!!

    The cup is definitely a product I would have never learned about it if it weren’t for blogging. I still haven’t tried it, but if all the cool girls are doing it…

  20. sorry.

    can’t even read this. feel a bit dizzy and queasy….

  21. I tried a “cup” once & didn’t like it. I wasn’t suppose to feel it and I did. It wasn’t suppose to leak and it did. Ugh. Needless to say I tossed that crap out real quick! But I’m willing to give one more try. Why the hell not? I’ll get back to you…

  22. I just love, love, love this bond we all have here as women!

    Thanks for being so open and honest about a topic that many of us often feel uncomfortable to discuss.

    I hadn’t heard of this product before, but I have to say, I think I’m going to go out tomorrow and try one out. Sounds intriguing—gross, but intriguing and it’s totally worth a try!

    I hate pads, but have a really hard time using tampons in good conscience, knowing that they really aren’t good for you!

    I’m all about trying to do better for the environment in all of the “little things” that I do–this would be another good thing to start!

  23. when I was uh..young.. a product came out called TASSAWAY

    It was a little pink cup.
    I tried it.
    It was awful. If you were able to latch on to it – you never knew where you were going to fling its contents when you pulled it out.

    Okay. graphic.

    But supposedly no one here will be offended ? ? ? ?

  24. I tried it, and for me it was a pain in the well, you know. I don’t have time to fold, push, bear down, spin, pull, etc. Maybe someday I’ll give it another try, but for now, just give me a tampon and get on with life.

    P.S. I know lots of ladies who absolutely love the Diva, so good luck if you keep trying. đŸ˜‰

  25. LOL:)

  26. ok I have to admit I have the same fears…I don’t get grossed out easily but I have never been a fan of tampons, worrying about “what if they get lost up in there”…

    guess I am a goof that way

  27. This post and the comments are why the internet is so cool. I want my own Diva now.

  28. UH.MUH.GUH..

    I have never heard of it..
    but I am feeling all woozy now…

    I am very squeemish… I always get that vaso vegal (sp?) response during paps …

    I couldn’t do that…
    but your post is quite eye opening… and nauseating… hee hee… for me…
    just cuz I get weak and woozy…

    I’m going to go lay down now.

  29. Ya know…I’m all for being environmentally friendly and all but somethings are best left with the good old fashioned pad/tampon. That cup looks scary ands seems like it could get stuck or something.

  30. ~snorts. Wipes tears away~

    I can’t stop laughing long enough to think of anything witty to say!

    Funniest thing I’ve read in. For. EVAH.

  31. Once a boy said the inside felt like a can of worms, I’ve never been okay with my beaver.
    Give it up girl, we’ll be tampon buddies for life. (at least until menopause)

  32. Bless you for trying. I just can’t even wrap my brain around the logistics of the concept.

  33. I’ll just have to find some other way to try to save the environment.

    Aren’t tampons biodegradable anyway? I promise I’ll use cloth grocery bags and recycle all of my cardboard if I just please don’t have to try the cup!!!

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