She has more friends than me and I’m glad.

December 11, 2007

Fa had her 4th birthday party over the past weekend.

18 kids were there. That’s about 17 more friends she has than me.

I am impressed.

Most of her school friends came and showered her with love and affection. My heart swells for her.

She is such a big girl. I look back at the first few days of her life and I was so unsure. Of everything.

Now, in amazement, I watch her interact with her friends and enjoy herself.

That’s the key. Enjoyment. She actually does that now. Without fear or trepidation. A big step in the life of Fa.

And a big step in the growth of her Ma.

We have both entered this world of Mother/Daughter unsure and anxious. Scared and doubtful.

But we are maturing into this uniform being of two hearts growing and learning from each other. Two souls connected by love. Two girls growing up. One into motherhood, the other into childhood…and beyond.

I am in utter and sheer love. Unconditional (yet, annoyed by tantrums) love.

I am proud of her for stepping up and being brave. I am proud of her for trusting herself to totally enjoy the moment without inhibition. She is teaching me to do the same.

I am proud of me for accepting this fate and enveloping my tiny charge into my heart and soul.

I was doubtful in the beginning. Doubtful that I could handle this job. This never-ending job of Motherhood.

But I am more sure now than ever before, that as she grows and teaches me how to love…There is nothing else in this world that I am supposed to do. But be there for her. And help her grow and teach her how to be a strong and independent woman.

Yes, I slip up. I curse at her and I yell when I really shouldn’t. I lose patience and throw things in frustration. But I am human. And I am teaching her that above all else, my love is always there. And no matter what mistakes we make, we will always love.

In her life, I pray that she is overwhelmed with friends and treats them with respect, honesty and love. I pray she guides them when they need her and they return the favor.

In my life, I wish to watch her grow and build the life she wants. I wish to support her decisions and I hope that I have taught her how to make the right ones.

I can only wish she sees how much I truly adore her. My life wouldn’t be complete unless she knew how much she was loved.

My very big girl. Out of all the little girls in the world, how did I get the very best one?



  1. good for you, hon, and good for fa! there is nothing sweeter than watching your daughter grow and bloom.

    this is very very important for later when the hormones hit and they add the adolescent sass and eye roll. it’s nature’s way of making sure we don’t eat our young.

  2. The is an amazing post – thank you for sharing!

  3. Thanks, your words made me feel better. As a mum who lost it and shouted today, I have been reminded that I am human (well, almost) and it doesn’t mean I don’t love my sons. I did apologise to them too!

  4. Wonderful!
    Knowing you aren’t perfect, realizing your shortcomings and supporting her unconditionally… what else could we ask for?
    Happy 4th to FA! We just had a 4th recently, too. It’s a beautiful age, a trying age, and one we’ll miss greatly when 14 hits!!

  5. That is great news. I am glad she had such a great party.

    However, I’m willing to bet that “Ma” has far more friends than she claims in this post. I also am willing to bet that, deep down, “Ma” knows she is doing just fine with Fa.

    If “Ma” wasn’t, she wouldn’t be so proud of Fa at this point.

    Well done, “Ma.”

  6. aren’t they just amazing?
    Gage just amazes me all the time.
    …and I think, how did I get so lucky?

  7. I shout and curse and say some not so nice things once in a while. But I never let him forget how much I love him, and I appoligize for the bad, and he appoligizes back. He’s turning into an amazing young man. That’s the most I can hope for I guess.

    And you need to do a recount, cuz I know i’m your friend so that makes at least 2. hahahahahahhaa

  8. It’s such an amazing adventure this motherhood business.
    Best wishes

  9. She’s learning from one of the very best, so I have NO DOUBTS that she’s going to be an amazing woman. Her mother sure is.

    this was a beautiful post, baby…

  10. Makes my uterus quiver for a girl!

  11. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again motherhood is the most challenging , most important most rewarding job I (we) will ever do.

    You are doing it brilliantly and Fa will grow up to be an amazing young woman.

  12. I’m so glad to hear she had a great birthday. What a beautiful ode you’ve written about the journey of motherhood…

    (I thought I got the best girl? Huh? That’s weird.)

  13. I’m so glad Im not the only mom who cusses and yells at the kids sometimes.

    Great post JJ!

  14. Happy Birthday to Fa!
    WOW! That’s a lot of kids…what did you do for the party?
    Beautiful post ๐Ÿ™‚

  15. You are so awesome! I cannot believe your baby is FOUR! I am glad she had such a wonderful birthday and that you too enjoyed the celebrations.

  16. First time I ever came to your blog (not last time) and that post touched me. I know how hard it can be with two kids; how much they can go on my nerve and I just hate it when I raise the voice too much.
    As I often say to people: Kids take so much away from you; time, freedom & energy ๐Ÿ™‚ but they give SO much back. I remember when they where smaller and kept us up all night; then in a morning a single smile would make all good again.
    About birthday party, we always had a rule that they can invite as many kids as they are old, so when they become 8, they invite 8 kids. Well, rules are there to be broken, so 1 or 2 more is not end of the world. But 17 is a lot ๐Ÿ™‚ Was it all girls or mixed? I could NOT imagine having 17 boys here, would be total chaos.
    Oh, sorry for writing a small book.
    Thanks for the post and I will be back.
    (Am I the only guy writing here??)

  17. What amazes me is what you wish for her is what you give to others….”In her life, I pray that she is overwhelmed with friends and treats them with respect, honesty and love. I pray she guides them when they need her and they return the favor.”

    You are an amazing bloggy friend and I cannot wait to have a glass of wine/virgin margarita with you sometime in 2008!!!!

    I hope she had a fabulous day.

    Oh – and I remember reading about you being so scared for her. Look at her now – 18 friends ?!?! I love it!!!!

  18. truly beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  19. Happy Birthday to Fa! I am so glad she had a great one ๐Ÿ™‚

    My kids both have more friends than me, especially at their ages, and I, too, am glad!

  20. I think it is important for every child to see that their parents are not perfect..they learn from how we apologize and try to do better the next time. Fa (aka the litigator) is lucky to have you for a mom!!

  21. oh, congrats to you both ๐Ÿ™‚ (and happy birthday to Fa!)

  22. What a wonderful post. It made me cry. Hard.

    One part that really got to me was I can only wish she sees how much I truly adore her. My life wouldnโ€™t be complete unless she knew how much she was loved.

    Isn’t that the truth? As a parent, you’ll probably never get any definite proof of that. It’s not like in the movies, where there’s a swell of violin music, and the freakishly mature 6-year-old says, “Mom, you know you mean more to me than anything on earth. Thank you so much for being my Mom. I know you love me unconditionally and completely.” Right.

    Who needs definite proof? You know it in your heart. She knows how much you love her. Love is love.

  23. YAY! For 4th birthdays! I think that Fa has 17 more friends then me, too ๐Ÿ™‚
    When Jessica turned 4, we had her party at Burger King, and we invited her WHOLE class. OMG. I think that there were almost 30 kids there, with cousins, too. It was too much for her, too overwhelming.
    I know that Fa knows how much you love her ๐Ÿ™‚

  24. That is great news. I am glad she had such a great party. The is a wonderful post – thank you for sharing!

  25. My girl had a bday party on Saturday, too. Guess what the great thing about your kid having friends? The parents usually become yours! That is how I got most of my few friends I have.

    Happy belated birthday to both of you….

  26. Beautiful post, love. You got the best girl and I got the best boy….we are lucky ladies!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: