Stop Mooching!

February 5, 2008

I bet he thinks his real name is “Fucking Dog”!

Every time we sit to eat, he’s at your feet, anticipating dropped crumbs. Ready in an instant to lick ’em up.

I hate the way he sounds when he’s scrounging on the floor for crumbs.

Like he’s going to town. Slurp, slurp, suck, slurp, sip, grunt, harumph, burp.

He’s always there when a drop falls. Milk, oil, water, acid. Like he never gets fed. Or given fresh water every few farking minutes.

He farts. Smelly, dog food farts.

He humps everything in site. We call it ‘schweening’. It creeps me out. He’s fixed by the way.

He’s started stealing Fa’s toys and running away with them so we chase him around the house screaming bloody murder.

I hate it.

Fa loves it. I think he does too.

I call him “The Mooch”. And I yell “Stop Mooching!” at him and she keels over laughing.

Cracks up. Hysterical.

She loves this dog.

He makes her so happy. Even when he’s annoying the crap out of her.

He potty trained her. Remember that?

He’s teaching her how to write too.

No RT allowed

He loves this kid.

He protects her and growls when anyone comes near her. Especially me.

Whenever we are playing with Fa, wrestling, attacking her with smooches and she starts to yell…He goes nuts!

He is a pretty good watch dog when he wants to be. Anytime someone comes to the door or even walks past the house, he barks and growls, letting me know.

He hates the firehouse and when it goes off, he howls. His pendulous lips actually forming a little ‘O’.

I hate when he mooches the most. It aggravates me. I think he may be the reason I am so stressed. I’m constantly yelling at him.

But they love each other. A girl and her dog.

How could I ever take that away from her?

droopy tongue

Loogit the way he sleeps with his tongue hanging out. He needs dental work.

Now if only he would calm down like this when we try to pet him.



  1. hahaha that is what dogs do … they mooch! hehe A Girl and her pet are an amazing thing.

  2. I used to get pissed and hate on some things, that it just buggedme and made me so stressed out. Then I stepped back and looked at the big picture, and decided it was so little that I was stupid to get upset about it. And I felt so much better. maybe you can do that. I mean he’s not making any of you deadly ill, or causing such damage that can’t be replaced. He hasn’t cancelled your health insurance or tore someones face off. If he ate a couch or a table, that’s horrid but it can be replaced. Not like if he ate your arm off. hehehehe

    Just a thought of how to look at it maybe.

  3. This post reminds me a lot of Junior Mayhem….he drives me CRAZY…but I could never get rid of him! 🙂

  4. I got a cat like that. I say, “Quit scamming me!”

  5. I’m not a dog person but I kinda wished I had one when my kids were toddlers and I was always cleaning up the floor under the high chair!

  6. Dogs are such a pain in the ass, but they sure are lovable.

  7. We’re dog-sitting MIL’s dog and I’ve noticed that she stops shaking in the corner long enough to come and investigate whenever I have something to eat in my hands…

  8. i feeeeeeeel your pain. i have a love/hate relationship right now with my dogs. if they pee on the furniture again, i will have to have them for dinner.

  9. My dog drives me crazy too. With her drooling and begging and SHEDDING!! My daughter adores her though.

  10. I want a dog!!! Uh, I mean Punkin wants a dog. My friend who has moved out of state had a dog like yours. Gator. I loved that little freak! I don’t think he has been still for a moment in his life.

    Must. Find. Punkin. A. Dog.

  11. Hey, look at it this way. At least when he slurps/licks/eats all the crumbs and dropped food, you don’t have to clean the floor as often.

  12. I love RT. I love Fa. I love them together. And I LOVE that you let RT hang around b/c of her and Fa.

    My dog doesn’t fart. Not that I want her to start but I am curious as to why yours does and mine doesn’t.

    I’ve always wanted a Boston, btw.

    And btw, she’s got great handwriting and is a really good artist.

  13. So cute!! I think he thinks his name is “Fucking Dog”..ha ha.. my fucking dog too

  14. Awwww. He’s so cute. Am envious tho. Our dog tolerates “the boy.” She finds him obnoxious and is only interested in hanging out with him when he’s got food to share.

    So the fact that he adores your little girl so much? Awwww. So precious.

  15. He’s precious!

  16. He’s so cute I can’t even stand it.

    Even if he is a “fucking dog”.

  17. I swear I could have written this myself. Do we have the same dog ? I thought my damn dog was the only on that stood at your foot when you ate therby driving you batshit crazy. But he protects the twins like there is no tomorrow.

  18. he is pretty cute even in need of dental work!

  19. Look at his face! Don’t all his annoyances go away when you look at that sweet little face? It’s like my kids. All the things that drive me nuts or have me saying bad things under my breath go away when I look at their sweet sleeping faces.

  20. You are totally amusing me today. I haven’t had a dog for a couple of years, but when you started talking about the constant “slurp, smack, slop, lop, splat” it brought back those unpleasant memories. I would demand “stop it!” Then the sad brown eyes would gaze at me with “Whaddid I do mom?” (My dog weighed 125 lb, and I think half of that was slobbers)

    I think you’re going to have to get some ear plugs dear.

  21. He is sweet! I have been considering getting a puppy sometime soon, I am just concerned that while I am pg may not be the best time.

  22. Awwwwww I think that is sweet he wants to protect Fa….and mouching is just part of being a dog I think..lmao.

    Hang in there…remind yourself she lives that animal..lol

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