Not so Care Bear

My kid is into Care Bears…I love that she is so into something like this. It makes my heart sing. She plays with them all the time. They are her friends. She loves them with all of her heart.

She watches the Care Bears Big Wish Movie every day. She wants all the Care Bears ever created, lemme tell ya, that’s a lot. She has a few other videos too…from the 80’s. Brings back memories. Me and my BFF ‘K’ used to play with them after school.

So I started looking online to try to find some more of her favorites.

After all, she already has:

• Tenderheart Bear



• 2 Funshine Bears



• 2 Share Bears



• Surprise Bear



• 2 Bedtime Bears



• Amigo Bear



• Friend Bear



• Cheer Bear



• Swiftheart Rabbit



• Lotsa Heart Elephant



But I got hung up on this instead…I’m so easily distracted.


My Not So Care Bear Name is
Bad Luck Bear
Get your Not So Care Bear Name at Quizopolis.com



Fa’s Not So Care Bear Name is
Procrastinator Bear
Get your Not So Care Bear Name at Quizopolis.com






The Pro’s Not So Care Bear Name is
Drinks-a-lot Bear
Get your Not So Care Bear Name at Quizopolis.com




RT’s Not So Care Bear Name is
Dirty-ol-Bear
Get your Not So Care Bear Name at Quizopolis.com



How appropriate.
What was I talking about again?

WordPressing

I’m still not sure I like it here.

Blogging has become a chore here and I don’t know if it’s me or if it’s WP.

I am not literate enough in CSS to upgrade and really “pimp” my place up and I’m not feeling motivated to write crap here, especially if the place I’m writing the crap doesn’t motivate me.

Or maybe I’m just having a pity party and I’m down.

Any suggestions?

Anyone have any good things to write about?

After all it shouldn’t be about what this place ‘looks like’, but what I have to say. Right?

I’m even ignoring my Reader lately.

Gah. I’m in a slump.

2008 is not starting out nicely, really.

Ignore me…I’ll be happier sooner or later…Or is blogging losing it’s luster?

Back to..What is Normal anyways?

Hi.

I’m so sorry.

I haven’t visited half the blogs I usually read on my “vacation” decent into illness hell. Do you forgive me?

I still haven’t heard RWA‘s Blog Talk radio show live (which I SWORE I’d do). My Google -Evil- Reader displays 275 unread feeds. I am a bad blog friend. If I was ‘normal’ I might resolve to be a better blogger in 2008, but that ain’t happenin’. So. I’ll just apologize and move forward.

How’s things?

Good?

Good!

If you knew me in real life, you’d say, yeah you never return my phone calls either.

And I would probably just ignore that statement.

I have been so bored that I could cry. Being sick and Fa being sick did not help my status as a ‘cool’ mom this week.

We are just getting into the swing again today. The routine returns. I hope it puts us back on track.

The holidays. So So.

Sick.

So I honestly hardly remember them.

Fa loved the first two gifts she opened on Christmas morning and could care less about the other 195 presents under the tree…I should have stopped buying at two. She’s got a thing for animals so her stuffed kitties and veterinarian set are (pardon the pun) the cat’s meow. She’s going to be a Kitty doctor when she grows up.

The rest of the presents were cool. I haven’t snapped pictures, you know. Lazy. So just take my word for it. Santa treated us nicely this year.

I can’t believe I’m a mother to a 4 year old.

I saw pictures of my polyp. Remember him? He was cute. He’s gone now. Doc says everything was peachy. Literally. Benign. Nice, pink uterus. You can’t ask for any more than that really.

The meds. They are working. I assume. I feel better in the noggin, and physically too. More pep in my step if ya know what I mean. The doc says I need to get my ‘head’ around the fact that I may be on these suckers forever. Still working on that.

It’s January 2, 2008. I’ll be 40.  In 4 years. Hmmmm.

Am I doing what I should be doing?

I dunno.

I need to work on that too.

I’ve had a lot of time to think this week. Not good.

So all in all, I’m here. I’ll try to get back into the blogging swing. Please don’t hate me. I hope you have all been well.

Thank you for stopping by during the week. I’ve loved having you.

Fuck a Duck

I say it all the time.

Then I looked it up on the all knowing internet.

Urban Dictionary shows the wonderful tune it orignates from. Shall we teach our chillins this song?

Then, there’s a multitude of ways to use my favorite word: Fuck.

In my wanderings along the internetz…I found this site. Awesome. Look at the header. Ha!

And as I clicked along…I realized someone’s statcounter is gonna have the search “Fuck a duck” on it…Great. That’s me. Hi.

Wanna know what led people to me (at Gaining Balance)?

• ‘mom feels trapped‘ in Stratford, Connecticut. Hi! Me too sometimes. Great, how THAT search comes right to me.
• ‘one song, glory‘ in Ohio, Fremont..I know doesn’t it give you chills?
• ‘went to buy panties‘ in Singapore. The granny’s are universal.
• ‘wearing black t-shirt with brown belt‘ in Pennsylvania, State College…If you’re looking for my fashion advice. Don’t match the shirt with your belt, match your shoes with your belt…But that’s just me. I’m afraid the generation gap may lead us to disagree…Unless you’re a karate man. ‘Cause Karate man bruise on the inside…but they’re belts are different.
  
• ‘peed pants authority‘ in Tel Aviv. I am one, thank you. And welcome to my classroom.
• ‘I can’t seem to get my tampon in‘ in Maine, New Gloucester. I’m so sorry. Did you try squatting, or using a smaller one? Are you sure you’re a woman?
  
• ‘fall teeth lip blood‘ in Etela-suomen Laani, Tampere, Finland…Where the hell? What the hell?
  
• ‘refuse breast exams‘ in Limburg, Hasselt, Belgium..Honey, just Do It!!!
• ‘caught wearing bloomers’ in UK… I hope they were clean! And who caught you?
  
• ‘tampons come out curved’ in England, London, United Kingdom (Keele Univ.) – Yeouch!
• I’ve been ‘crawled by a googlebot in NY quite a lot…should I be worried?
• And I have many NY readers apparently…Come out and say hi…otherwise, I think you’re creepy.
  

You know what this really tells me…I’m not being Freaky-Deaky enough…I need to start talking poo and junk. Ha!

***Thanks Slackermommy!

(Again)

I know it’s Saturday…

See my header?
I’ve been playing around with blog tools.

I’m bored with blogger and I’m hoping it’s just blogger that I’m bored with. So….

I’m thinking of getting my own domain….like from WordPress.org or something like that.

I need help.

I’ve played around on WordPress and Typepad. I’ve even exported my blogger posts/comments over to see how it all works.

I’m not comfortable on either site yet…seems like it’s way more complicated than Blogger.
I’m an internet dope.

Whaddya suggest?

1. I was having trouble adding HTML images and links in my sidebars. Seems not to work. Or I just don’t know how.

2. I can’t even begin to change around the layouts…I’m a dope remember? I made up this new header and like it, but I can’t seem to make it look good in WP or TypePad.

3. I only know blogger and I’m afraid of change.

4. I have to PAY for a personal domain! What if I can’t make it my “own”?

5. Which one should I give my hard earned money to?

6. Am I thinking too much? Should I just stay where I am? I’m not like a blogging Master…I really only do this to vent and keep in touch with my buddies.

Anyone out there wanna offer some advice?

***

Thank you Ms. FussyPants…Much obliged!

Thursday Tidbits

It is Thursday right?

Anansi has moved in and apparently unpacked.

The darn thing won’t leave.
And I won’t get rid of it. Loogit it. Would you mess with this?

***

Then, we have this. Fa’s first class project. A Lima Bean Plant. She’s been taking care of him since the first week of school. She named him Max. Looks like a Max doesn’t he?

This kid is absolutely loving school. She pops up in the morning raring to go. And she’s exhausted at night. I love it. The bedtime routine still sucks donkey ballsack (for you Kevin)…but she is happy and learning and oh!!!!

She spells words and her name and writes all of her letters now too. She came home spelling “H.O.T.” They made applesauce and that must’ve been the word of the day!

(The artist known as Fa)

She also likes Golden Delicious apples the best compared to Red Delicious and Granny Smiths. C’mon. How friggin funny is that? So all in all, I may not be able to eat anything but soft foods, my kid is doing a phenomenal job in preschool!

We are now in the planning stages of her 4th birthday extravaganza! More on that later.

***
The latest from the bunghole:
(Put your pants on!)

***

And, the other day, Fa had chocolate on her face. I wanted to clean it off.
Do you know what I said to her? “C’mere…I want to wipe your pussy.”

I know.
I meant “Puss” and the “y” just came flowing outward.

Mom of the Year?

Bored much?

I’m having a ball on FaceBook.

I gave out drinks, tattoos, all sorts of crazy stuff. Can you tell I’m looking for some fun?

I’m bored.

***

I changed RT’s food. The pet store (hmmm) claimed that this new “natural” stuff will make his crap harder and more manageable (read: easier to pick up)…and less, uhm less…of it. Yeah right. He’s shitting all over my house again. Like a fucking over caffeinated horse! Ugh. What the hell happened?

I followed the switch-over rule:
70% Old food mixed with 30% new food for the first two days.
50/50 for the next two days.
30% old food mixed with 70% new food for the next two days.
and 100% new food from then on out…

He’s a crap machine.

(But it is easier to pick up …. IN the HOUSE)

What do I do?

***

I can’t stop singing and thinking RENT. I am obsessed. How do I get it outta my head? Any suggestions?

***

Fa’s been waking up in the middle of the night because she “doesn’t want to be alone”! I am so tired. She’s afraid of the dark. This has been an issue for a while now, but she’s been sleeping. Now, it’s a screetching call for me in the middle of the night and I lay with her for a ‘song’ then go back to bed. Sounds simple enough…But it’s happening 3-4 times a night.

I need a nap.

I’m not good on limited sleep.

Plus I’m still off from Saturday’s adventures.

***

Fa’s been dry in the daytime for a month now. She’s got this potty thing down. At night it’s a different story, but she rocks the daytime man!

Go Fa!

Gotta love dry panties!

***

I go for my sonohysterogram tomorrow. Wish me luck. I’ll need it. I’m very nervous. Catheters and my cervix don’t mix well.

Never have, never will.

And I hate the table…oh! and don’t even get me started on the probe! Gah. I wanna vomit every time I think about it.

I still haven’t heard about my Lumpy Boob yet. Maybe I should call the gyno today? hmm. Ya think?

***

We’re going out to dinner tonight because The Pro’s cousin is in from Australia. That should be fun. I like his cousin. He’s so nice. He sounds like these guys. And Fa likes him because of that.

I have to really strain to listen to him talk…but he says the same thing about me. Hmmm. I don’t have a New Yawk accent! (*snort*)

***

I’m stressed. Over everything. Can you tell?

Wanna come over for a drink? I had the best margarita on Saturday..I’m in the mood for another.

If you made it this far, you are invited.